You both breathe the same 'relational' air. You and your partner are part of a biosphere - an ecological system that cycles nutrients, water, and energy with all life within it. If you are in a relationship, you are living within a relational biosphere. What does this mean? It means that partners are not separate from, but instead part of, the system they live within. Let's get a little more concrete. Most of the couples who come to see me for couples therapy are seeking he

When a new couple comes to me for counseling, it is not unusual for them to have already tried at least one or two other therapists. Yet, they often haven't seen as much movement as they had hoped. They are looking for dramatic change - true transformation - and it feels hard to come by. Here's how the approach I offer differs from more 'traditional' couples/relationship therapy. Direct approach: Many therapists nurture, validate, and affirm without pairing those things with

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